Cold As Dry Ice

A 4 year old + a sink full of dry ice + a little bit of water = a boatload of fun.

Breaking News From the Backseat

After dropping Emma off at school, Logan & I were heading back to the apartment when he started yelling excitedly from the backseat.

Logan: "Mommy I found it! I found it!"
Me: "What did you find?"
Logan: "My forehead. I found my forehead. It's right here on my face."

The Queen of Lazy

The kids don't have a heck of a lot of chores at their ages but the one thing they are required to do is to clear their plates and put them in the sink after every meal. I came out of the bathroom to find Logan clearing Emma's plate (with a little verbal assistance from his sister).

Me: "Emma is he clearing your plate?"
Emma: "Yes. I told him too."
Me: "You know what that's called? Delegation."
Emma: "No that's called being smart."

The Boy's Excellent Skills

I was changing Logan's toxic diaper this morning when Emma yelled from the living room,

"Ugh Logan you stink. I can smell you from here."

To which Logan replied,

"I know. I'm good at pooping."

Spring has Sprung

But nothing is growing as much as these two weeds

Diary of an Insomniac Toddler

8 p.m.: Bedtime. I hold Momma off as long as possible by asking for extra hugs and kisses, making her flip my pillow over, requesting a change of music, asking to be tuck-tuck-tucked, demanding that Elmo gets hugs and kisses and crying and telling her it's too light in here. She left muttering something about copious amounts of beer under her breath.

11:32 p.m.: I woke up Momma to ask her where my new Wally the Green Monster t-shirt is. After she assured me it was in the dryer and I could wear it tomorrow, I went back to sleep.

1:55 a.m.: I woke up very hungry so I decided to see if Momma would give me some Honey Nut Cereals (Cheerios to you common folk). She said no.

2:19 a.m.: Oh no, Momma sent in reinforcements. Daddy told me to go to sleep and I listened because, well he's Daddy.

3:45 a.m.: Is that a sliver of light? I think I see the sun coming up. I yell to Momma to see if it's time for breakfast but she doesn't answer me. Oh well.

4:30 a.m.: I start crying and make up a quick story about skeletons and monsters but Momma's not buying it. She does give me a kiss and hug though so that makes it all worthwhile.

5:10 a.m.: Daddy's awake. I can hear him making his breakfast in the kitchen. I think I'll call out to him to see if he'll let me sleep on his side of the bed for a bit.

6:15 a.m.: I climb on Momma's head and demand juice and the Wiggles. She seems really cranky and for some reason she doesn't look like she got a good night sleep last night.

I Think She Might Be Juicing (And I Don't Mean the Apple Kind)

Let me start off by saying that I'm not of the school that believes in letting their kid win every time they play a game with me. It's not just my competitive nature...I want them to learn to be good sports and cheer on their peers. That being said.....

Emma went, in the course of one day, from barely being able to hit a ball in Wii baseball to knocking 4 out in a 3 inning game. She went from throwing a 64 mph fastball to a 93 mph fastball. And she went from losing big to me to beating me by the mercy rule. In. One. Day.

There are a few things that might be happening here. She let me win yesterday because it was my birthday, she has been practicing in the middle of the night while we're all sleeping or I need to search her room for vials and needles.

Either those or I got the broken joystick.