Diary of an Insomniac Toddler

8 p.m.: Bedtime. I hold Momma off as long as possible by asking for extra hugs and kisses, making her flip my pillow over, requesting a change of music, asking to be tuck-tuck-tucked, demanding that Elmo gets hugs and kisses and crying and telling her it's too light in here. She left muttering something about copious amounts of beer under her breath.

11:32 p.m.: I woke up Momma to ask her where my new Wally the Green Monster t-shirt is. After she assured me it was in the dryer and I could wear it tomorrow, I went back to sleep.

1:55 a.m.: I woke up very hungry so I decided to see if Momma would give me some Honey Nut Cereals (Cheerios to you common folk). She said no.

2:19 a.m.: Oh no, Momma sent in reinforcements. Daddy told me to go to sleep and I listened because, well he's Daddy.

3:45 a.m.: Is that a sliver of light? I think I see the sun coming up. I yell to Momma to see if it's time for breakfast but she doesn't answer me. Oh well.

4:30 a.m.: I start crying and make up a quick story about skeletons and monsters but Momma's not buying it. She does give me a kiss and hug though so that makes it all worthwhile.

5:10 a.m.: Daddy's awake. I can hear him making his breakfast in the kitchen. I think I'll call out to him to see if he'll let me sleep on his side of the bed for a bit.

6:15 a.m.: I climb on Momma's head and demand juice and the Wiggles. She seems really cranky and for some reason she doesn't look like she got a good night sleep last night.